As for the future of Russia, I have only one word: CORN. Bring that crop back, guys, seriously! It’ll jumpstart ze economy and give us plenty to eat and sell. P.S. the stuff is crazy delicious and healthy. And those Iowans seriously knew what they were talking about. However, I must warn you, whatever you do DON’T plant the corn in Siberia. Not a good idea on my part, everyone. That is all.
So, I did not like Stalin’s use of “nomenklatura”, you know, giving politicians unfair advantage over others. I abolished “troikas”, or special tribunals, and opened a central committee forum instead. I invited hundreds of my fellow soviets, and even allowed them to speak! The proceedings were published in book form for the first time ever, as well. Here’s the sneaky catch though… I seem like I’m very liberal and nice, but in reality, this openness in the government gave me MORE POWER! Because everyone knew everything, those who opposed me had to stand up to a large, angry crowd… mwahahahah, suckas.
When Yeltsin started that Shock Therapy sh** in the early ’90s, I was like, lolwut!? It reminded me of the end of Stalin’s reign and I took over. Truth be told, I was sort of Stalin’s little bitch while he was in power, but as soon as he kicked the bucket, I decided to gather a large comittee of important and influential leaders to solely wail on the recently deceased dictator of Russia. My collegues told me not to, but I was like, “guys, c’mah, he’s dead now.” So I made my “secret speech”, which lasted for four hours and mainly consisted of me berating Stalin’s reputation. Boom. H-anyways, even though I changed many things after Stalin, I don’t think going cold turkey on Communism is right. You need to open up the economy a wee bit, but keep your leash on the country niiiiice and tight..
It is here that Stalin showed in a whole series of cases his intolerance, his brutality, and his abuse of power … he often chose the path of repression and physical annihilation, not only against actual enemies, but also against individuals who had not committed any crimes against the party or the Soviet Government.”
yours truly,
Khruschev
‘nuff said.
Hookay, so. I tried to make corn everywhere as one of my new agricultural policies post-Stalin. Zen I went to Iowa, US of A, to see what these “midwesterners” could teach me. They have lovely fields of golden corn, which I love, and I decide to bring corn to Russia. But zen this Iowan told me to only plant in southern part of Russia. I ignored dis and went ahead and planted corn everywhere, including Siberia. Unfortunately, dis did not work and failed almost as much as de cat in de picture…
lof,
Khruschev
I’m just an ordinary guy.love me.
see dey foreigners no like you!
I sink de future for Russia es looking bery grim if Putin have more power. ach. he know nuting.
Ach Putin you sink you’re so great. What have you been doing besides hangin wis your dolphins? Yes you hab nic boday, BUT people sink you’re strange. Dey say dey like you only because dey are scared of you. I don’t like how you talk about shock terapy being so bad!
Es mah birthdayyyyy!!!
Das Coup in 1991, ha.
Putin loves all the pretty girls of Russia.
I don’t know about you guys, but this is one snazzy shirt. As much as I hate wearing clothes, I’d make an exception for this beauty. Forget the haters….. nomenklatura assures me that no “free thinkers” or “not rich and powerful” people had ever, or will ever, come near my precious power. After all, Soviet Era practices are the new black.
